So, the last month has flown by. I’m now in the third trimester of this pregnancy and I’m still under the delusion that the kid won’t arrive for awhile yet. I guess “awhile” is a relative term. On the one hand, I still have a couple months before her EDD in March; on the other hand, I only have a couple months before her pending arrival and a couple months really isn’t that far away.
And I’m really not feeling prepared for this thing called childbirth or any of the motherhood thing that will follow. They (the large, unknown they) say that nothing can prepare you fully for motherhood and raising children, but I honestly would like to feel a little more ready for this huge change in my life. And I don’t feel ready.
And did I mention one other huge change ahead in my life?
Finishing the house and moving?
Yeah…that’s slated for the month of March as well.
Now do you get why I don’t feel ready?! This trusting that everything will fall into place is yet another step in the journey of letting go of control. That’s not an easy feat for this perfectionist, no, not at all. I’m going to be honest and say that it’s really turning into a day-by-day process for me because the more I think about all that needs to be done, the more I think about all the changes I have to face in rapid succession this winter and spring – the more I feel like panicking and crawling into bed under the covers and willing baby girl to stay inside of me for a very long time.
Not quite how I ever pictured this stage of my life; nope, I kind of pictured a more idyllic end to my first pregnancy, wherein I enjoy the lovely moments and wish away the rest in hopes of holding a baby in my arms sooner than later. I never really thought I’d pray for baby girl to arrive late or on her EDD at the earliest!
Anyhow. Here’s to one day at a time and here’s to lots of good changes, even if they are coming all at once!